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Fitness fanatic, Donald Leek, indulges in a monthly Chunky Monkey experience with, someone vaguely resembling movie-songstress, Julie Andrews, who he's expecting at 7:30pm. His obsession with Ms. Andrews (and her posterior) is somewhat disturbing to say the least. Before she arrives however, he has to dispose of the body parts of Mr Azam, manager of his favourite Indian restaurant, who has neglected to send him a Christmas card. He is interrupted by a peculiar assortment of unwelcome visitors, amongst them, Jesus Christ and a one-testicled self-made millionaire. Each one is as unhinged as their host, who retaliates to the intrusion in extreme fashion

Four middle-aged men concoct a scheme which involves them insuring their lives, so that if one of them dies the others inherit a tidy sum. Suddenly fate throws a darkly comic chain of mishaps their way:

Over the course of five social occasions, a committed bachelor must consider the notion that he may have discovered love.

When plucky Corporal Pru Merriman reports to her superiors Monk and Bob for driving duty, she finds herself catapulted into the murky world of the French Resistance.

In the early 19th century, a young woman with a harelip falls foul of her family's ambition and the superstitions of the local community, but meets a man who may see her differently.

In this story-within-a-story, Anna is an actress starring opposite Mike in a period piece about the forbidden love between their respective characters, Sarah and Charles. Both actors are involved in serious relationships, but the passionate nature of the script leads to an off-camera love affair as well. While attempting to maintain their composure and professionalism, Anna and Mike struggle to come to terms with their infidelity.
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