Michael J. Elwell

Larry works the night shift at a convenience store. He can't get a girl, and he hates his life. But that's not his biggest problem: He's a vampire, and he has to learn how to become a vampire in order to become a man.

Captain Scurvy F. Dog, Proprietor of the Caribbean Pub, Entertains his Patrons with Tales of his Privateerin' Adventures. Flashbacks of the Captain's 8 Voyages include Encounters with King Neptune, a Mermaid, WitchDoctor, Island Girls & a Sea Witch to name a few... With Dangerous, Sexy, Gross & Often Hilarious Results! Set Sail in a Tall Ship Headed for Disaster on the High Seas! Witness SwordFightin', Cannibalism & Wet Wenches! Sing Along to Scurvy Dog's Pirate Shanties, Learn Pirate Proverbs, Codes of Conduct & Treasure Never Afore Heared Pirate Jokes! So Grabs Yerself a Tankard of Rum, Lash the Wheel to Stern, Jerk Off... Yer Boots & Socks, & Join Captain Scurvy Dog, Along with Seaweed Sally, Drift Wood, Cork Screw & the Rest of the Pirates & Wenches of the Caribbean in "Pirate Scurvy Dog's Pieces of Eight" !

A group of friends discover gold deep inside an old mine. But by taking the gold and think they've hit it big, they awaken a long dead miner who's Hell Bent on protecting his treasure.

In this romantic comedy, a lonely man meets a lonely woman after they each post ads in the lonely-hearts section of the classified ads. Unfortunately, neither one is totally honest about themselves and merry mix-ups ensue until a romance finally blossoms.