Dave Barry

Employees of well-off conman and lady's man Luther Lucas talk about the 5 women he'd most like to bed. To make this happen he'll spare no expense, pretend to be gay, pretend to be a friend of Garbo's--anything.

A stagecoach owner is going out of business if the train (rode by Roland) makes it to the other side, so they hire Rattfink to stop the train, but doesn't work.

Band singer/race driver Mike McCoy must choose between marrying a beautiful rich girl and driving her father's car in a prestigious race.

An English voice talks to the Pink Panther, who is reading a book about secret agents, and suggests to the panther that he become an agent. Intrigued at this idea, the Pink Panther dons a trench coat, hat, and pipe and walks nonchalantly on city streets, looking for enemy spies. He comes upon a gang of foreign agents scheming to detonate a series of black-ball bombs, and when they realize he is following them, they shoot him with guns, lure him into a crocodile trap, and, under cover of darkness aboard a train, replace his cigarette with a bomb.

Two musicians witness a mob hit and need to quickly find a way out of Chicago. Their only opportunity comes in the form of joining an all-girl band as they prepare to leave on a tour. The two disguise themselves as women and struggle to keep their identities secret as the gangsters close in.

Bugs discovers a Micronesian Film Documentary in "Cromagnonscope" showing Elmer Fuddstone and a sabertooth bunny in 10,000 BC.

Jim Burton, chronic alcoholic, is cared for by Ellen, his incredibly patient, sexy, hard-working wife. A doctor's warning that Jim could become mentally ill strikes enough fear into him that he really wants to cure himself...but can't. One night, he meets William Tobin, a fellow drunk, and finds that he helps himself by trying to help Tobin. Thus is born, amid setbacks, a group resembling Alcoholics Anonymous.

Three delinquents murder a prosperous farmer at an isolated farm house. One witness to the crime - the dead man's secretary - is then taken hostage. The other witness - her young son - is thrown into state of shock. Can he recover soon enough to help the police - and his father - rescue his mother before it's too late?

Four young starlets, from various parts of the world, are called to Hollywood to test for the lead in a major film. Each is romantically pursued by the director, composer, playboy, and actor. Which one of an international quartette of beauties will replace Universal's glamour star in an upcoming Biblical epic?

Sach receives news that he is the heir to the Terwilliger Debussy Jones fortune. Accompanied by his pal Slip, he arrives at the Jones mansion to review the legal papers needed for him to claim his new fortune. However, Sach and Slip discover that the rightful heir, the young Terwilliger III, is being cheated out of his inheritance by the miscreant duo of Stuyvesant Jones and Clarissa. Sach and Slip, with the help of their fellow Bowery Boys, save the day and restore the heir’s inheritance.