The Lady Says No

A photographer tries to get a very specific emotion out of his model inspired by The Holy Mary, John Lennon and German sausages.

Jean-Claude is a loud-mouthed, know-it-all and full time boor who is best friends with Stef, a self-styled lady killer who would do better with the fairer sex if he could work up the ambition to wake up in the morning. Stef has decided that he may need some help in finding the woman of his dreams, and embracing loyalty rather than logic he turns to Jean-Claude for advice.

When American author Nicholas brings in a cosmetologist named Kika to prepare the corpse of his recently deceased son, she inadvertently revives the young man, then falls in love with him. Forces conspire against the couple, though, as Nicholas wants Kika for himself.

A successful veterinarian and radio show host with low self-esteem asks her model friend to impersonate her when a handsome man wants to see her.

Searchlight Doyle, lightweight boxing champion of the United States Navy, is shanghaied into the fleet of Sainte Cassette, an island republic, as a replacement for a wealthy slacker who must serve his country to receive a $2 million inheritance, a scheme concocted by attorney Gabriel Grabowski. All his shipmates, except Hyacinth Nitouche, assume that he is indeed the wastrel he purports to be. Doyle falls in love with Adrienne, the most beautiful of the captain's daughters, and wins her affections by treating his comrades in her teashop. Admiral O'Brien, grandfather of the man Doyle is impersonating, comes to visit, and mistaking him for a civilian, Doyle throws him overboard and to everybody's surprise is complimented on his vigilance. But his real identity is exposed by some American sailors, and he is suspected of killing young O'Brien; he is cleared of suspicion, however, and is reinstated by the admiral, thereby gaining Adrienne's love.